Cripple Fight!!

I thought the cripple fight was last year, but this year Michigan and Notre Dame have taken the word putrid to a whole new level. Will Michigan score if they have to start a drive in their own territory? Will Notre Dame look like a real team this week? One thing I do know is that these teams can easily suck a golf ball through a garden hose. They are the definition of hapless and inept.

I could go easy on Michigan this year but I hate them too much. The nicest thing you will hear from me is that they don't have the personnel for the spread offense so the expectations shouldn't be high. With that being said, Michigan is a wretched team. They lost to Utah in the home opener and squeaked by The U....of Ohio. Yes that's right, they beat Miami of Ohio 16-6. Call off the dogs Rich Rodriguez I think they had enough.

I haven't had enough though. I could get used to this. Watching Michigan run around on the field clueless is entertaining. I was laughing my ass off when I watched the Utah game. If Ohio wasn't giving Ohio State a run for their money, I would've definitely turned on the game against Miami of Ohio for another good laugh. Can you blame me? They are trotting quarterbacks out there that are not ready or capable of running the spread. They are immobile, and I saw some laughable pass attempts. It looked like Jim Belushi, and that guy who plays Ray's brother on Everybody Loves Raymond was out there playing quarterback, never mind top recruits. Simply stated, this is what happens when you change a system.

Notre Dame, where do I even begin? They thought they were hot shit when Charlie Weis took over in 2005. Brady Quinn was leading the team and they had a nice supporting cast. Around game time, Charlie would leave the chocolate factory and arrive with chocolate on his breath and clothes. Then, while on his sugar high, he would call plays that only a mastermind could think up. I refer to them as Madden plays. Ok, Brady you throw it deep down the sideline, Shark, you catch it. Now that's great coaching. Before I go any further let me take a moment to say that I am referring to him as the Shark because I refuse to waste my time trying to find out how to actually spell his name. He's not worth it.

Notre Dame spent Saturday afternoons going for 4th down and running up the score on any opponent that got in your way. Karma is a bitch. Not only did they lose their bowl game that year to Ohio State, but they got blown out by LSU the following year, and have been pathetic ever since. They needed a bullshit call to help beat San Diego State in their home opener this year. San Diego State. They're a quality team. Jimmy Clausen was supposed to be the savior but he's a joke. How ironic, a religious university and the quarterback that's supposed to save the team has the initials J.C. Well I guess that's what the team needs because nothing short of divine intervention can help them.

So on Saturday afternoon, we will see these two storied programs take the field. If you haven't watched the video above, do so now. This is what the game will resemble. This game isn't to find out who's the better team. This game is to find out who sucks more. Notre Dame is a two point home favorite, but I really have no idea who will win this game. Is there any chance they both lose? My advice, Rich Rodriguez should call Michael Phelps and ask him to suit up for this game. I don't care what position he plays, but he's the man and has to be able to help somehow. I would say if that doesn't work, Michigan should pray, but Notre Dame does it everyday, so I'm guessing God is already on their side. Anyway, if you know someone who is depressed, or someone that needs to enjoy a hearty laugh, tell them to watch this game. If you like the video above, you will certainly enjoy the second coming of the cripple fight when Notre Dame and Michigan square off on Saturday.