September 15, 2008 marks the start of opening statements in another O.J Simpson trial. My God O.J will it ever end? Are you really just incapable of laying low and keeping to yourself? Obviously not. Today, another jury is going to be inundated by shifty lawyers and witness testimony. However, unfortunately for O.J, Johnnie Cochran is not alive for this trial. Where will the quote of the trial come from, and can it be any better than "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit"? For some reason, whether justified or not, I picture O.J's new lawyer to be as equally capable as Leslie Nielson from the Naked Gun movies. You really can't believe that whoever his lawyer is will be as good as Johnnie. Who else but Cochran can save the most guilty man on the planet.
The odds are really stacked against O.J too. The jury he is facing is all white. That's like putting a German on trial and selecting twelve Jewish people for jury duty. And to be honest, I feel bad for the members of the jury. They were leading their everyday normal lives, and then get summoned by the courts to deal with O.J's bullshit. So not only is he facing an all white jury, he is facing an all white jury who has better things to do than sit through a projected five week trial just to give a verdict on something everyone already knows.
O.J is more guilty than an obese person who sneaks snacks and candy while telling their family that they are on a diet. He's more guilty than MySpace is for providing a database of potential victims for stalkers on the web. If there's one thing to be happy about though, it's the fact that Simspon went the opposite route of most violent offenders this time. Most violent offenders start small and work their way up, but O.J is working his way down.
Good for you O.J.
But, then there is a bad thing to take from this situation as well. Nobody died and no shots were fired, but O.J and his people supposedly ran in the hotel room packing heat about to go Yosemite Sam on everyone. A gunfight in a hotel room? That sounds like the worst idea I've ever heard. You might as well knock up a religious virgin.
A gun fight in a hotel room would be a massacre. I don't even think that's something Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday would be up for. That's why they met the Clanton gang at the O.K Corral. O.K, O.J this isn't the wild west and you're obviously a fool. You need to learn to keep yourself in check. You have turned into a serious goon and now you're on trial again. Congratulations O.J, pending a miracle, you're fucked.
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